After 6 Years

Been 6 years since my last post. To think so many things have changed since then. I guess it went for the better than the worse? But then again, it isnt as good as I think it should be. 

I wouldnt have come onboard here if JiaJia didnt mention about it. But here I am. 

Looking at all these though. 

Those were the days I guess. But these are indeed days that really matter a lot. And times have changed since then. 

Till then, next time again. 

Last Day, So, Please.

Date: 20 April 2014

Last day of holidays, how quickly. To be honest, I dont wish to see this holidays end. Its just so so, relaxing, and fun even if I were to do nothing at home.

This time, this holidays, it seemed that I seemed to do more things, explore more, experience more, know more, and even learn more about people, new things, old times, and reminisce through the old days with old friends. Thinking back, many times I went out with a lie, but in turn, many times, it turned out to be something which I would remember forever. New things which I have never tried doing before, have now been tried on for the very first time. And it seemed like, its worth it.

Holidays are ending, and the only regret I have is definitely about her. As usual. And it seemed, things did not seemed to have changed all these while thru the one month plus. Perhaps the only thing that has changed is that we have drifted to pretty far. Looking back, I think that is really the only regret.

Thing that I enjoyed the most? The badminton day. Because I was really tired that day, and I went even though it was tiring when I came back like only late in the night the previous night, like at about 1230am. And slept for only about 5 hours plus? And then went to the CC battery flat. Another reason is because finally, all of us are together again. Hope theres another chance for us again.
There are many other trips, and days which I went out that I really enjoyed, like MTDC concert, school anniversary and choir concert etc etc. Every single one is like specially recorded down, because Im very afraid of forgetting everything.

Hais.

School is starting. Time to start putting effort for myself. Things, I hope everything will not be awkward for everyone, for me to be honest. My wishes, I hope it stills stands. Otherwise this will really going to breakdown. And I dont wish for it to happen.

Hoping I would do better in my studies too. And I think this time the modules isnt as hard, so Im really hoping to do well and everything.
Definitely, Im wishing for better things, from many ways. But I just want to say, Im really tired of doing a one-sided effort thing. Like that FB post from what I saw, I dont wish that to happen to me. Hate it to the max please.

Please, let things be better for me. Please.

And for her, PLEASE, learn how to appreciate what people do for you.

6 years on.

Date: 16 April 2014

So fast. Just left 5 days of fun before school is going to reopen. And I also know, my wish, that slim hope that I had would definitely not come true. It sucks to be honest. I dont like it this way, but I cant do anything or say anything if she is the one that is controlling everything. Dont even know what I do then she will be happy with me.

Today is the 16. 6 years ago this day, I lose you, my grandfather. Definitely the next year or so on this date, it was just tough and tough as the day passes, every single day. To be honest, till today, the pain is still in there. He did a lot for every single one of us, even though after his amputation things didnt go as well. He's funny, always talking about funny things to cheer us up etc. I miss his presence.
Only on Saturday did Melvyn told us that Gong Gong just fell so suddenly when he was bathing. As we all know that he had stroke, it also meant that we all were already knowing the worse then. Those 3 days between the 14 to the 16 then, I would never forget. Even if its the final dinner we had together as one whole family the previous weekend, its still in my mind, all fresh.

6 years on, all of us has grown up. In terms of studies, work, all of us has gone better as the day passes. But without doubt, we all still miss you Gong Gong. Watch over us from above, and we will want to see you soon in our dreams alright?

From now perhaps, I will do my best and put everything down, and aside, because I think its time to put other things ahead of everything else. I just need some time for myself, treating myself better than doing things for everyone else when they dont even appreciate it.

Just gonna do it my own way.

15 in 4

Date: 10 April 2014

Suddenly I feel so speechless again. In a dilemma. HOW? D;

Nothing been happening this week. Only went out on Monday, which was really super super mixed. For the rest of the week, it just went downhill. Simply going all the way down. Hoping for the remaining of this week to be good. In the sense that I would be able to like, be happy.

Monday, was just mixed and mixed. Wonder what is everything like. Doing my best, but the feelings wasnt reciprocated. And it seemed to be unrequited. Is it meant to be that way? Kinda envy someone else (wouldnt want to say who), that she is able to see him every week, and he still gets to look forward to that particular day every week no matter how objective her family is. Very much better than mine. 15 mins for 4 months.

Subsequent days turned out to be very very mixed. Wonder what am I doing at home daily. Been watching some dumb and unneccesary documentaries about the A380, and then somehow someway, my computer would just not be able to connect to the dumbass internet.

Now? Now hesitating if I should go back to MJR for anniversary tomorrow. My heart tells me say I want, but my head tells me say whats the point of going if that particular person whom I want to see just dont bother about my existance. Just like what someone else tell me, the replies are like just meant to be replied for the sake of it. I think coming days, I will just chose not to reply completely.

Was just really pissed about all these things that happened this few days. Maybe I should just put a stop to it. It dosent seemed like it would work out in the first place. Like really. And because of this, many people are just angry with me. Whats all this about? And she? Keeping everything from me like nobody's business. Like seriously..

What should I do now? 11 days to school and Im completely not prepared. Home, and everything else that is happening to my life now seemed to be revolving around the dump of shit that is just purely happening for idk what kind of reasons.

I just feel like packing everything, and going for a break somewhere with people I dont know with. Life is so so suckish I feel at times.

I Thought You Were My Fairytale

Date: 06 April 2014

Thinking back, that one month plus of holidays is gonna end so so quickly. Kinda going to miss every moment of it. And definitely, Im looking forward to the next big big holidays to play!!!!!

Been reviewing my old blog posts, found an old blog of Kerin's one, talking to friends about the past, and no doubt, I really miss Secondary school days! Perhaps its those times when doing something seemed to be better, life seemed so much easier and happy, especially when you do something and someone else does not misunderstand you so easily. 

Also because of her. Only got to be with her when I was graduating, pretty sad thing between us and I really do miss her after not being able to go out with her since like last December. Back to December? Maybe. 

School's gonna start soon. Not looking forward, but must definitely facing it. Just 14 days left for this holidays, and silently still hoping that both of us can meet before my school starts. Possibility of it is very very slim though. But well. 

Was telling someone yesterday. Back then thought coming to MJR wasnt a good thing. But now, I think its still good afterall, in a sense or another Ive grown and learnt many new things, and got to know real people, versus the fakes. Perhaps there are still many fakes that are existing in my life, that is just very near me, but I just wanna keep quiet over it. Theres no way that i would want to say about those people though.. Many things will just happen. 

My biggest wish now is that, I really wish I could see her.. Thats all. 

Many things I want this holidays Ive gotten it. So Im happy. And yeah, thank to the many people who helped make my wishes come true.

When There Was Me And You

Date:  05 April 2014


Long day today. But this song is the only thing that describes my feelings now. 
Enjoy~ 

*Thanks to the person who introduced this song to me. The lyrics are really meaningful. Cheer Up!



When There Was Me And You

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend 
That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled 
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
And once upon a song

Now I know your not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star 
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell 
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind

Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

Memories From The Past.

Date: 31 March 2014

Only 3/4 days since then, 8 days since that fun day.
Really miss having the chance and stand there together to have fun and sing. I seriously think its nice and good. Its just thats it maybe. So lame.

Stayed up last night to follow the football between Liverpool and Spurs, which Pool won 4-0! Yes! We're Gonna Win The League after close to 25 years! Hopefully we can win the league! Two tough fixtures next month in ManCity and Chelsea! But the title hopes is within our hands. 

Like the song All I Ask Of You from Phantom, and On My Own from Les Miserables. My favourite songs. Both medleys I have sang before. And both have different set of memories, in the sense that Phantom is the first and only time I sang with a batch of seniors whom is the best in singing and guidance. Les Mis, was the time when I lead for the first time, and with my friends and group of juniors. 

Mean a lot. 

Hmm.. Things dont change that easily afterall somehow. But certain things turn out better than the others will become. Hopefully everything will turn out to be better as the day passes. But one thing Im definitely not looking forward to is the reopening of school. 

Its over.

Date: 30 March 2014

Today is a Sunday again. Counting down, 3 weeks to school reopen. Honestly speaking, not looking forward to it. Just want to laze around at home and slack thru my life away. Love it this way to be honest. 

Spent the past week sort of meaningfully I guess. Spent it with people whom I have not met in such a long time, doing thing that perhaps I have not done in such a long time (or probably not even done in my life). But how much happiness is there, will still be a sting of sadness. Its inevitable I guess. I dont wish to have the sadness. But it just keep coming to me. 

So a breakdown was;
Monday visited the choir and friends, had dinner then went home. 
Tuesday and Wednesday just stayed home, didnt do anything much.
Thursday ZhiJie and CheeHow came over to swim, and we had lunch before I head home. 
Friday, Choir Concert! (Which is really fun!!)
Saturday, celebrating YuYuan's birthday
And today, Sunday, gloomy one. Starting to think of what could we have done instead. 

About us? 
It seemed pretty bleak to me. Perhaps I really didnt mean a lot to you afterall. Youre the only person who seemed to have guys wooing you even though youve a boyfriend. And when you didnt talk to your suitors, you seemed angry with me. I dont understand about anything else at all nowadays. Perhaps my role is just a boyfriend in name. Hais. 

Next week?
I wonder whats the plans ahead. Have to really hope for something nice before 21 days are over. I just dont wish to see the 21 days passes by so quickly. But all I want is to have things, better than what they are now at the very least I hope. 

Its over I guess. I should end this. 

SUKIYA!!!!

Date: 21 March 2014

Went out with LianHua and Adeline for lunch today!! SUPER LONG TIME NO MEET! Yah, just a meet up to eat sukiyaaaaa~ 

And as usual always eat till so full! Muahahahaha. 
Good. Cos im super tempted to eat Sukiya for so long already. 

Finished eating then went to look for JooXuan working and go and disturb her and buy a packet of chocolates just to pay for it! HAHA!! Then went to look for Vanessa Liau also. All is Lianhua intro de! LOL! Then also want to disturb de! HAHA!

Then came back after that that time, YuQian say want meet us. So LianHua say play MRT, which is take from Pasir Ris to Joo Koon. See this kind of people! Nothing better to do de siah!! Waste moneyy!

Went off first to meet my mum who bought me a room fan! Which I think I wont even use it often though So i realised like waste money also! ZZZZ!

Then airport dian xiao er for dinner! And went to Poulet and look for ZiYing. She gave me a lot of receipts to take back umbrella! YAY! THANK YOU ZIYING!!! AHHAAHA

Okay thats all! Meeting friends again make me so happy Like a small kid siah me

Two long days, of fun!

Date: 20 March 2014

Been busy the last two days.
Shall say about Wednesday first. 

Went to choir with Nicole to take back our scores so we can so call practice before the choir concert. But couldnt find our scores so took a new one. Then went back to see choir doing their so called rehearsal in the choir room. Those are the times as usual. 
Also to quote Nicole from her blog post, returning to our old CCA whenever we have the time seemed so much better than anything else I guess. 

Went back with Nicole after that and we went to buy the $1 kind of ice cream from the ice cream bike. Had the peanut one which ShiHui recommended when we were studying last time in school and it was that one and only unique taste which is like so nice only. Then saw YuQian at the bus stop, and since theres so much time, so walked with her then catch up with old times together. Thats the reason why holidays is so so good I think. 

Went off to Harbourfront after that to pick the Oshima students back to the airport, with the Toba students. But they came out like at about 830, and I stood there waiting since like 6... LOL! So the school bluffed me with the timing and I shouldnt have even went so early. 

So send both parties to the airport, and the Oshima students even followed us to Terminal One to send the Toba students off. Toba professor wanted to treat us Starbucks, but I think I just felt so paiseh~~ HAHAHA. 

Okay, so send the Toba students off, checking they have everything before leaving to Terminal 3 to get the Oshima students their Singapore kind of Macdonalds, which have our unique McSpicy, which they all obviously couldnt even take it at all.. Wonder how they even finish the entire burger while enduring the kind of spiciness!!
Think they just didnt want to disappoint us, and they said nice to everything that we asked them to order too. 

Took some photos before they enter the departure gates. Was a kind of really sad moment given that we all know, we wont even know if we are going to meet again for the rest of our lives. 
Thank You Oshima~ 
And Kana, for even buying us the Japanese kueh~ Dont even know if its you all who buy together, or only Kana. But really appreicative of you all!! Hope to see you people again~~

And went home at 1230, and slept only at 2 after talking to Weihao like till so late!!!

Next day, which is the Thursday, went out with the whatsapp group mushroom land to play badminton! All except HuiJun came because she had her camp! But oh well, hope to meet her soon!! Also wondering what to get for her birthday!!! Someoneee help me!!!

Played badminton then had lunch! Long time never even meet Zhi Jie, and he seemed to changed quite a bit!! Last time always go patrol around with him and it was like so fun!! HAHAA This is like nice only today's meeting.

Really appreciate and love this bunch of friends, because all of them are always around me to help me and everything! I cant say anything bad that I can even remember of of them. Hope to see every single one of them soon again, before school reopens!!!

HUIJUN ALSO!!! I MISS HERRRRR!