Thursday, April 10, 2014

15 in 4

Date: 10 April 2014

Suddenly I feel so speechless again. In a dilemma. HOW? D;

Nothing been happening this week. Only went out on Monday, which was really super super mixed. For the rest of the week, it just went downhill. Simply going all the way down. Hoping for the remaining of this week to be good. In the sense that I would be able to like, be happy.

Monday, was just mixed and mixed. Wonder what is everything like. Doing my best, but the feelings wasnt reciprocated. And it seemed to be unrequited. Is it meant to be that way? Kinda envy someone else (wouldnt want to say who), that she is able to see him every week, and he still gets to look forward to that particular day every week no matter how objective her family is. Very much better than mine. 15 mins for 4 months.

Subsequent days turned out to be very very mixed. Wonder what am I doing at home daily. Been watching some dumb and unneccesary documentaries about the A380, and then somehow someway, my computer would just not be able to connect to the dumbass internet.

Now? Now hesitating if I should go back to MJR for anniversary tomorrow. My heart tells me say I want, but my head tells me say whats the point of going if that particular person whom I want to see just dont bother about my existance. Just like what someone else tell me, the replies are like just meant to be replied for the sake of it. I think coming days, I will just chose not to reply completely.

Was just really pissed about all these things that happened this few days. Maybe I should just put a stop to it. It dosent seemed like it would work out in the first place. Like really. And because of this, many people are just angry with me. Whats all this about? And she? Keeping everything from me like nobody's business. Like seriously..

What should I do now? 11 days to school and Im completely not prepared. Home, and everything else that is happening to my life now seemed to be revolving around the dump of shit that is just purely happening for idk what kind of reasons.

I just feel like packing everything, and going for a break somewhere with people I dont know with. Life is so so suckish I feel at times.

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