Hi People!
Many things happened today. Er, not say many, but many thoughts came to me today.. it just came to me. So, I wonder, have I done the right things all these while? I thought about, you, and some stuffs. And wondering, if I could actually make it. You came into my mind, and I think about you. I pass you house, and I thought about you. And the things that happen to me, I wonder if it should have taken place in the first place.
Morning woke up at about 9am. Then didnt want to wake up initially, then parents were like, gonna scold.. Haha! :DD Went to street 43 to have breakfast! Nice breakfast! :DD Went home, and slack, cos parents say today can rest? :D Bath, then use com. Then went out for High Tea Buffet at Lao Beijing Novena. Had super full lunch, of buffet. My sister ate about er, 18 Siew Mai.. Haha!! Pro.. I ate quite a lot too!! :DD Then later went to Burger King and eat one ice cream. Then went to Cold Storage and Square 2 NTUC walk. Then took the free shuttle bus to City Square Mall to walk. Then now the bus is like the SMRT bus. Compared to last time the small bus. Haha! :DD Reached City Square Mall, then went to Popular, walked around. Never bring my voucher. Then went to NTUC buy things, and then to McDonald’s buy drinks, Ice Lemon Tea. Then went back to Popular to join my sister there. Hmm, its been a long time since I last went to City Square Mall.. Then follow my father to get the car at Square 2, cos we park there, while my mother and sister wait, cos very heavy..
On the bus, my father sleeping, so i sort of had peace to think.. And many things went to my mind. I was sort of thinking, if i have done the things I have wanted for the year. Have i actually done the correct thing. Have I actually done the things that I should do. Then all this came to me. Including you. You also came to me. You came to me, as in, how to tell you? How? IDK. I really want to know how, and why.. Haix.. And I think these things really giving me lots of stress. And these stress always come to me at night.. So I wonder, if I should really tell you, and risk the friendship that we hold.
Reached Novena, and went to take the car. Then went to City Square Mall to fetch my mother and my sister. On the way, I passed ur house, though I do not really noe where. I noe that that is the place I had wanted to go all this while I noe my aim, I noe my target. But the only thing I don not know is, why didnt I make it. Why I cant do it. Its just fails me each time. And each time I say it fails me, I just did not do it again the next time..
Picked my sister and mother, then went home, and blog, use com..
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I think I am no longer that happy anymore.. It just came to me. IDK why. Especially at night, Its just made me sad, and made me feel like, hiax.. It made me just feel like giving up everything I have in possession now, and leave this place. I just want to leave this place to somewhere that is only me, and only me. Or perhaps, somewhere that no one can find me, or recognise me. I just want to leave and lead my own life. I just want to leave and not bother about the things here. I just want to leave and not bother about anything already. It is just giving me too much pressure. And the type of pressure, is giving me lots and lots of stress. And it seriously made me think of giving up, and just breakdown there, and dun care, and perhaps cry it out loud. Crying may not be the best solution to the problem that I am facing now, but definitely, crying would make me just happier, and be able to take the next step forward. I definitely want it, and I desperately need it! How I wish that now, I have the money to go overseas, perhaps Hong Kong, or London, or Sochi, or maybe some other countries, and stay there alone, living alone, and no one can find me. I really want to leave the place, and the world that I am living in now. Perhaps I should say that the comfortness that I have now, makes me want to leave, and live and survive on my own. I just want to leave everything, and not update this space or blog, and not bother about my Facebook, Twitter and everything. Those are really going to make me let out the space I have. I dun want. And if I were able to leave, I would not want anyone to bother about anything anymore. I just want to be alone, and be myself. Being my ownself really would give me some space to breathe, and only care about my self. And no longer anyone, or everyone. I dun care what others think about this, but I just want to leave. Leaving may not be the best solution, but I think, it would help. It would definitely help me. It would definitely help a lot. Weird right, I dun talk sense. Its after exams, and I get stress. I want to know the reason too. But it seems that I would not be able to get a reason, unless I leave and survive out there a lone. It seems that is the only way that I would be able to get the answer. There has been many mysteries and problems about myself that I want to solve. But it seems that I could not solve it, unless I leave and survive on my own. Perhaps being in an environment, or place where no one noes me is the best, for me to get all the answers that I really want to get all this while..
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Its the end of everything already..
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